Official Website of UCLA, United Clam Lovers of America
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| NOTE: We've made a major re-design. Some pages don't look right, and we have to change the order of some page links, and add more info. When we're finished, we'll have much more than before, and it will be easier to find what you're looking for. Please be patient. (Most recent update: 1/3/08) |
A clam is like sex.
Even when it isn't very good, it's still pretty good.
When it's terrible, it's REALLY terrible.
Even when it isn't very good, it's still pretty good.
When it's terrible, it's REALLY terrible.
| Clams are good for your health. A recent study showed that 99.76% of people who ate clams were still alive 24 hours later. |
"Where's my weenie?" Hard-shell
clams (cherrystone, littleneck, etc.) are born as
males, and many become females later on.
CLICK for more clam sex.
clams (cherrystone, littleneck, etc.) are born as
males, and many become females later on.
CLICK for more clam sex.
Mobster "Crazy Joey"
Gallo was whacked at
Umberto's Clam House
(left) in New York's Little
Italy while celebrating his
43d birthday in 1972. His
life is romanticized in the
Bob Dylan song "Joey."
Gallo was whacked at
Umberto's Clam House
(left) in New York's Little
Italy while celebrating his
43d birthday in 1972. His
life is romanticized in the
Bob Dylan song "Joey."
Another mobster, James Eppolito, was known as
Jimmy The Clam. He was a brother of Ralph "Fat
the Gangster" Eppolito; and an uncle of NY cop
Louis Eppolito, who was arrested in early 2005 for
working as a part-time hit man. Uncle Jimmy and
Cousin Jim-Jim were whacked in New York City in
1979, while Pope John Paul II was visiting.
Jimmy The Clam. He was a brother of Ralph "Fat
the Gangster" Eppolito; and an uncle of NY cop
Louis Eppolito, who was arrested in early 2005 for
working as a part-time hit man. Uncle Jimmy and
Cousin Jim-Jim were whacked in New York City in
1979, while Pope John Paul II was visiting.
| "HAPPY AS A CLAM?" Just how Happy is a clam, anyway? And why is a clam happy? Wouldn't you be happy if you could just lie around at the beach all day? Originally, the phrase was "happy as a clam in the mud at high tide." At high tide, when the water is deep, clams are safer from clam diggers. Over the years, the phrase was shortened, making it confusing. |
| Official Clam Lover's shirt. CLICK |
| In general, the smaller the clam, the more you pay per pound. |
| There are over 2,000 varieties of clams. The two main types are hard-shell and soft-shell. Hard-shell clams generally live in deeper waters, and soft-shells are usually close to shore, often exposed at low tide. Soft-shells are generally not eaten raw. |
You can get delicious clam pizza, either
red or white, at Papa's Pizza & Pasta,
258 Naugatuck Avenue, Milford CT,
about half way between Route 1 and the
beach. 203 874-0215, closed Monday.
No indoor eating: take it home, or use
one of the picnic tables. Pies are "New
Haven style," baked in a brick oven. The
thin crust is absolutely perfect, not
slimy-sloppy, or rock hard, but firm and
chewy, like a good bagel.
red or white, at Papa's Pizza & Pasta,
258 Naugatuck Avenue, Milford CT,
about half way between Route 1 and the
beach. 203 874-0215, closed Monday.
No indoor eating: take it home, or use
one of the picnic tables. Pies are "New
Haven style," baked in a brick oven. The
thin crust is absolutely perfect, not
slimy-sloppy, or rock hard, but firm and
chewy, like a good bagel.
| A Raw Bar is not a joint where you drink naked, but you can probably eat uncooked clams and oysters. |
Best Fried Clams on Earth are caramel
colored whole-belly crunchies cooked by
Bob Pottle at Cindy's, a genuine clam
shack a little south of Freeport, Maine.
Other specialties include steamers,
scrumptious fried mushrooms, cold lobster
rolls, fish and chips, onion rings, cookies
and addictive clam chowder. Serious eaters
merit free samples. Cindy's 29th season
should start Memorial Day Weekend. CLICK
colored whole-belly crunchies cooked by
Bob Pottle at Cindy's, a genuine clam
shack a little south of Freeport, Maine.
Other specialties include steamers,
scrumptious fried mushrooms, cold lobster
rolls, fish and chips, onion rings, cookies
and addictive clam chowder. Serious eaters
merit free samples. Cindy's 29th season
should start Memorial Day Weekend. CLICK
Best Non-Fried Clams on Earth are the
wood-fire roasted "specials" at The Place in
Guilford, Connecticut -- shown here with
chefs Chris Braumann and Tyler Otto. Chris
and Tyler also make great lobster, amazing
roasted corn, plus chicken, shrimp, steaks,
mussels, fish, vegibobs and more. You can
bring adult drinks, or buy a soft drink. The
Place should open for its 39th season in
late April. CLICK
wood-fire roasted "specials" at The Place in
Guilford, Connecticut -- shown here with
chefs Chris Braumann and Tyler Otto. Chris
and Tyler also make great lobster, amazing
roasted corn, plus chicken, shrimp, steaks,
mussels, fish, vegibobs and more. You can
bring adult drinks, or buy a soft drink. The
Place should open for its 39th season in
late April. CLICK
| Worst stuffed clams I ever tasted were at Little Italy in East Meadow, NY. The lazy cook mixed some canned minced clams with bread crumbs and heated the gloppy mess in aluminum foil shells. He should be whacked. |
The soft-shell clam is also known as Manninose,
piss clam, long-neck clam, steamer, fried clam,
Ipswich clam, and belly clam. Its shell is so thin
and brittle that you can easily snap it into pieces
with your fingers. The entire clam is too big to fit
inside its shell. The siphon (also called the snout
or neck) hangs out. They're called piss clams,
because the siphon often sticks up through the
sand, and when you walk by, they squirt you.
piss clam, long-neck clam, steamer, fried clam,
Ipswich clam, and belly clam. Its shell is so thin
and brittle that you can easily snap it into pieces
with your fingers. The entire clam is too big to fit
inside its shell. The siphon (also called the snout
or neck) hangs out. They're called piss clams,
because the siphon often sticks up through the
sand, and when you walk by, they squirt you.
The Emmy-nominated FAMILY GUY
TV show takes place in the fictional
town of Quahog, Rhode Island,
probably the only municipality in the
USA that's named after a clam. A
"gentleman's club" in town is called
the Fuzzy Clam.
TV show takes place in the fictional
town of Quahog, Rhode Island,
probably the only municipality in the
USA that's named after a clam. A
"gentleman's club" in town is called
the Fuzzy Clam.
| When you are eating steamed soft-shell clams, remove the thing that looks like a condom, rinse the clam in warm water or clam juice, and dip in melted butter or margarine. Some purists, including cousin Jill, brother Marshall, and neighbor Ralph, don't rinse or dip, and have survived. The sand has probably made their teeth nice and smooth. |
| Pismo Beach California claims it was always known as the "Clam Capital of the World." Some folks in New England might disagree. |
Original content is (c) Copyright 1998 - 2007, Michael N. Marcus. All Rights Reserved.
If you are the owner of any illustration on this website and want it removed, please contact me.
If you are the owner of any illustration on this website and want it removed, please contact me.
WeLoveClams.com Michael N. Marcus, Clam Master
Mona Simpson (Homer's mom) was a 60s radical
who got in trouble with the law, and dropped out of
Homer's life. In a 2003 episode of THE SIMPSONS,
Mona was briefly reunited with the family, but was
arrested for using a false name in a park registry
book. Homer helped her steal a prison bus, and she
later escaped from the bus before it crashed into a
river. Assumed dead, Mona hitched a ride with a
friendly couple that took her to a diner where she
had Rhode Island clam chowder for the first time.
"The crackers kept on coming," she said happily.
Glenn Close provided Mona's voice.
who got in trouble with the law, and dropped out of
Homer's life. In a 2003 episode of THE SIMPSONS,
Mona was briefly reunited with the family, but was
arrested for using a false name in a park registry
book. Homer helped her steal a prison bus, and she
later escaped from the bus before it crashed into a
river. Assumed dead, Mona hitched a ride with a
friendly couple that took her to a diner where she
had Rhode Island clam chowder for the first time.
"The crackers kept on coming," she said happily.
Glenn Close provided Mona's voice.
